Pablo received the favorite football team as a birthday gift. The next day, excited, he previewed his new equipment. When his parents saw him dressed from head to toe, they noticed something strange in their socks. As they approached, they discovered they had written the initials of his team with his teams to personalize them. With an expression of evident disgust, they asked him why he had done it. Without hesitation, Paul naturally replied: “I wasn’t! They came like this.”
Often, young children say that for adults they are easy to detect. A three or four -year -old boy can deny being the author of a drawing on the wall, even if he is the only one in the room; Or he is able to insist on the fact that he has not eaten chocolate when his mouth is full of cocoa. These situations confuse adults, but have an explanation based on cognitive and socio -emotional development development.
Why do children lie?
Lying is a strategy that children use to face situations they don’t like. One of the most common reasons is to avoid the negative consequences of their actions. When they notice an expression of anger in their parents or have learned that a similar action ended up reproaching, Try to avoid Those consequences that deny what happened. Do not tell the truth also helps them to maintain a positive image before the others, thus avoiding disappoint adults.
Lying helps them avoid problems. But don’t realize that it is evident that they don’t tell the truth? At an early age, they have not yet developed some cognitive skills of the subsequent evolutionary phases. For example, they cannot anticipate the consequences of their actions and therefore are unable to predict that a lie can be discovered.
Neither of them have acquired the ability to understand that the thoughts and emotions of others They can be different from theirs. They believe that the others will think like them and that, therefore, they will believe in their version of history.
How do they learn to lie?
The observation plays a key role in learning the behavior of lies. Children often observe adults say that small lies on a one -day base. Phrases like “Don’t say to Dad that you ate biscuits” or “we will be traveling” to not participate in a dinner, they transmit the idea that the small lies are acceptable.
In their first experiences with these types of situations, they often react with ingenuity. It is not strange that the adults surprised, revealing to the father how rich the biscuits were rich or inform the neighbor that the alleged journey has never existed.
Over time, and after several similar situations, the child internalizes that in some cases it is admissible. This often occurs when parents minimize the importance of these small lies, to which they themselves sometimes resort.
As children grow up, lies can be discovered and They are changing their way of lying. If their lies are easily detected, they learn that lying is a strategy that does not work and that generates distrust from others. If they manage to deceive, they perfect their technique and their lies become more elaborate and are more difficult to detect.
What to do before a childhood lie
Lies are part of the child’s development, but should be managed correctly to encourage honesty and prevent them from being used with the intention of manipulating others. Therefore, it is important to be a model of sincerity, avoiding lying in front of children, even if they are small daily lies.
In this way, the child will understand that telling the truth is an important value and will not be able to justify his lies saying “minds”. It is preferable to strengthen the importance of telling the truth and highlighting the benefits of being honest with others.
Another suggestion is to avoid disproportionate consequences in the face of inappropriate behavior. If the child receives excessive punishment for telling the truth, he will learn that the lie avoids reproaches. Instead, it is better to interpret inappropriate behavior as an opportunity for learning. We must not immediately assume that the child has done something wrong, but to give him the opportunity to explain, without judging him previously. Let it freely express the need to defend yourself with lies and encourage a trusted environment.
A normal part of development
Bugie in childhood are part of cognitive, emotional and social development. At an early age they should not be perceived as signs of malice or dishonesty. Through their first experiences with lies, children learn the consequences of their actions.
If adults include because children lie and unite they are correctly, they can guide them towards honest communication based on sincerity. With patience, good communication and with positive examples, children will learn that the truth is always the best option. They will not be afraid to make mistakes and thus strengthen their trust in adults.
Mireia OilesUniversity professor. Expert in child psychological treatment, University of Miguel Hernández y José Pedro EspadaProfessor of Psychology. Director of the Child Research Center, University of Miguel Hernández
This entry was originally published in The conversation. Read the original.
